Dream Sex

The first lucid activities most people engage in are flying and sex.  In a sense, these activities symbolize what most of us look for when we turn to dream: boundless freedom (and no receipts).  Suddenly, not only can we fly above the clouds with (or without!) our body in tow, but we can also open up to the freedom of our own sexuality–without judgment, fear, or social repercussions.

Human beings, whether we fancy ourselves special or not, are essentially animals at heart.  We have tried very hard to enculture the animal out of us, but once in a state of relative freedom, we shed those cultural trappings quite quickly.

I’m sorry, Piggy: rules and democracy died the moment the plane went down.

This was Freud’s understanding of dream, and why we tend to act out sexual and violent fantasies at night while we sleep: since these activities are simply not permitted in our day-to-day life, they are repressed into the unconscious, (and if you can get on board with this stuff) into knots of tension in our gross and subtle bodies, where they develop into neurotic behaviors.

Lucid dreaming provides an outlet where we can participate in these behaviors consciously and creatively, and at the same time, recognize the emptiness essence of these activities as well.

Possibly the most helpful initial benefit of sex in a lucid dream is that it just gives us a break.  For crying out loud, finally!  We can have sex without worrying about condoms, children, emotional baggage, being selfish, and awkward moments of silence.  In some sense, we can just have a few moments to enjoy an activity that is both individual and group-oriented: since the brain really doesn’t understand differently, it believes the dream projection of Brad Pitt (or whomever) to be real.  Our conscious mind knows, however, that we owe nobody nothin.

In dreams, there isn’t a limit as to with whom, what, or even how you have sex.  Depending on your skill, you can even modify your own body to make sex more creative (multiple penises or more orifices), or even have sex with fantastic creatures, or in impossible scenarios.  Painting by Adrian Borda.




Dream sex also offers the opportunity to explore aspects of our sexuality that we have repressed due to being “inappropriate” by societal or religious standards: same-sex adventures, sex with inanimate objects, and so on.

The important caveat is to remember that dreams are fleeting amalgamations of thought.  No matter how realistic they seem, to cling to them (or any appearance) is the essence of suffering.  In this regard, it’s important to remain grounded in our waking life, and to appreciate dreams for what they can give (ephemeral, fleeting joy, creative insight, etc.) and not expect them to provide what they don’t have to offer.

In this sense, we have the opportunity to recognize that dream is just another way of holding self-dialogue, no matter the activity.  The mind is in constant dialogue with itself, positing a “me” dream character versus a “them” dream environment.  If we are able to have this insight experientially, then the more mundane pleasures of dream become somewhat obsolete.  The questioning of consciousness itself becomes paramount.

If “I” am just another character in this dream, who is experiencing the dream?

On the other hand, sometimes it is just fun to have a good fling.

The topic of dream sex is really HUGE, and super DEEP, so I will definitely return to it another day for, ahem, seconds.  Until then, post your thoughts and ideas below.


4 thoughts on “Dream Sex

  1. Loved this post! I can definitely relate. My first (and only) lucid dream was almost a decade ago and it shook my foundations. Pamela Anderson from her Baywatch days. I’ve been desperate to return ever since!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the comment! Sounds like a fun first encounter. Were you trying to lucid dream, or did it spontaneously happen? If you’ve done it once, you can always do it again. Hopefully this blog will help!

      Liked by 1 person

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