This morning, I woke early to rouse myself and sit quietly. I had hoped to have to a lucid dream and do some practice. I did not get what I wanted! I ended up having a dream about missing the bus for a field trip.
I’m trying to let go of meditation and just sit quietly. My teacher says that releasing, resting, and realizing are the most important parts of the practice. I’ve noticed that when I sit down to “meditate,” I am flooded with thoughts. Behind these thoughts is a feeling that there should be silence.
When I take a break, and just sit there, the thoughts are mostly gone. So maybe it is better to just sit quietly without any particular aim or goal. For me, I feel this means relaxing my posture and actually not thinking of meditating. Just sitting there. Maybe looking at clouds, or feeling the peace of my body.
The dream practice seems to require some effort, but maybe there can be non-effort in the effort. So now, in an attempt to gently reinstate my dream practice, I will just wake up for a bit and sit quietly. I noticed that it took some time for the thought, “This is a dream” to come back online, so to speak. At times I have woken, but I am not aware of who I am or what is going on. But once I remember these things, nothing has really changed.
I suppose the title of this post has to do with the concepts of “silence,” which we tend to want in meditation, and “movement,” which is the movement of thought and energy in the body. I was reading Ajahn Chah last night, and had an interesting moment:
Meditation is like a single log of wood. Insight and investigation are one end of the log; calm and concentration are the other end. If you lift up the whole log, both sides come up at once. Which is concentration and which is insight? Just this mind.
If it is so, then pursuing silence in meditation is not very good. Thank you for reading my own investigation. This quote came from “A Still Forest Pool,” which I have linked to below. Thank you!